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Saturday, February 20, 2010
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Hi peeps,
Back form my second week of Bmt. Which wasn't really all that tough, just that there was a lot of running to do.
And i ABSOLUTELY hate running. I mean, in other sports at least you're chasing something (usually shadows if you're anything like me). In running you just go on and on, with no aim, no target except to finish your run and go home for a nice cup of ice cream. Which absolutely sucks.
Plus, air molecules who seem to belive they're an army of Spartans hell bent preventing me from passing through their precious Thermopylae. They're not much of a threat, but try propelling 70 kilos of solid muscle (and 1kg of protective packaging) through such forces for hours on end and you''d have a hard time too.
Furthermore, buffalo muscles were never made for running. We're not gazelles, for God's sake. We don't run for miles and miles and hope to tire out anything that might eat them first. We're built for charging; short burst of extraodinary power to send people flying. And heck, I'm so good at it that i could open a budget airline if i wanted to. But anyways, I was never made to run, and to force square pegs down round running tracks does seem abit idiotic, don't you think?
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Saturday, February 13, 2010
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Hi peeps,
Its been a fun week in Tekong. Apparently I'm not allowed to blog about my life there because the stuff I do is super secret classified military secrets that only the highest level people can know, so yeah, I'm not gna talk abt it here.
Except for one isolated incident which i find very disturbing. Well you know, I was standing in a file (thats 3 rows of people, its what we usually stand in when we gather to do activities). I was in the front row, standing ramrod straight and looking every bit a tough-as-nails warrior. Then the 2nd In Charge of my company walked by me. And he proceeded to rub my ab and said to me, "Yours same size as me arh. But I'm 48, young man. You need to do a lot of sit ups."
Anyway, lets not talk about mean people here. After all, its Chinese New Year! The time of the year when adults bleed cash to us kids once again :D. Our ancestors certainly chose an appropiate color for ang pows. If only i had more red notes though. Shall see tomorow. Cya!
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Thursday, February 4, 2010
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Hi peeps,
Going into NS tml D:. Which means I won't be blogging for a while until CNY i guess. Also means I've gotta rmb to get insurance against possessed by pontianak, bitten by vampires, crushed by zombies and the like (You can never be too careful when going overseas you know. Wonder if they sell these for buffaloes?).
Speaking of which, I was ambushed by an insurance agent the day before. Well i was walking out of the MRT gate when I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. I immediately turned around (must remember not to do this at tekong) and saw this beautiful lady with shiny innocent eyes staring at me. My first thought was whether she was a long lost classmate of mine, come to find me after a sorrowful separation by the vast expanses of space and time. Sadly, our (or rather my) tearful reunion was shattered when she said "Hi could you help me fill up a short survey?".
Next thing i knew, she was introducing to me some Prudential savings plan () and telling me if i saved $200/mth i'd have 60k by the end of 25 yrs (Like thanks man, I can't count myself). Then she began telling me if I started saving 7 yrs early i'd be able to withdraw my money 25 yrs earlier too (Wow, my logic is the next to floy out of the window). Next she had me guess if I had 3% compound interest how much I could accumulate after 25 yrs (Oh now I look like I can do multivariable differential calculus of tangential planes in my head). At this point visions of a Hot Fudge Sundae began to float across my mind, so I switched to my bot mode, which analyses key words from a sentence and selects an appropriate response (from a pool comprising these options: mm ya, ok, and *smiles and nods head*). I mean, who in their right mind would want to sell a savings plan to me. (What am i supposed hoard now, nuts? Or grass?)
Anyway, finally she let me off after giving me her number and telling me she would call back in a few days (Please do not call me with strange numbers these few days, lest I accidentally divert you to McDelivery). Well, i scurried of to the nearest Macs after that to find the Hot Fudge Sundae of my dreams, only to find that THEIR ICE CREAM MACHINE HAD CONVENIENTLY BROKEN DOWN.
I've got to check if there's any insurance for broken dreams, especially those involving pretty girls and ice cream.
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Tuesday, February 2, 2010
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Hi peeps,
Its three more days before i go off for my chalet (aka tekong). Now this normally wouldn't faze a fit and muscular guy like me, but recently, many have been poking (literally and figuratively) fun at my abs (or some prefer ab).
Which kind of irks me actually. I'm not really all THAT fat. Its really more an elaborate optical illusion more than anything, kinda like the one below. Yep, you get the drift. Furthermore, it is perhaps the most misinformed, pig-headed piece of propaganda i've ever heard in my life (okay second most, if you count calling me fat) to say that i eat a lot. This is no doubt spread by those same evil perpetrators who call me fat. I mean, I only eat a bowl of rice every meal (accurately speaking, that is ONE bowl)
And if you guys were willing to quit being so superficial and look just a little bit deeper in (i duno, maybe a couple centimetres?), you'd find a solid foundation of muscle in the form of a six-pack, waiting to be discovered by some top archaeologist like the Lost City of Atlantis. So it isn't as if I'm all flabs and no substance ya know.
So, jeez, guys, cut me some slack here will ya? Its getting a little tight down my tummy. Who knows? I might just decide to save you when the next Ice Age comes along and I'm all nice and warm while you're all freezing your heads off (Hmm, seems last time i checked, it was called global warming? Nevermind. What goes up must come down)
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Monday, February 1, 2010
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Hi everyone,
I'd like to thank yall for taking time out to read my first EVER blog post. Now if you've been sharp enough you'll know that this blog has been here since august 2008, created by dear ol' Ching Siang. Which might make you wonder why I suddenly decided to blog.
Well firstly, I've decided that this is a good way to hone my writing talent. Now, keep the sniggers down, i'm pretty talented at writing ya'know. Although the GP dept doesnt quite agree with that (apparently i'm neck-to-neck with Han Feng for worst handwriting award).
Secondly, recently theres been no one to talk to poor ol' joshie. It seems plenty pple're pretty pissed of with him for spamming'em, which is why abt 70%of my contacts appear offline and 40% attempt to appear busy (Hmmmmmm. Something's not right 'ere. Oh nvm. I guess they like to give 110% to avoid me). So me figured if josie could talk to me, I'd be doing everyone a huge favor there (now no need for the applause. Juz treat me an icecream if ya really wana do something)
Thirdly, I really wouldn't wana let CS down. I mean, if I spent so MUCH hard work in helping someone else set up a blog, I'd put a parang to his neck and make sure he spends an hour to write a nice long post everyday, wouldn't you?
(DISCLAIMER: This does not in any way serve as a suggestion to Ching Siang to wield any dangerous weapons in my presence)
Anyways, thank you for attending the opening ceremony of my blog. in appreciation, I'd like to extend my toll-free hotline to all of u in case you need someone to talk to. The number's 62353535. Just ignore the machine's incoherent yakking and repeat the passcode :"I would like a Large Hawaiian pizza please" :D
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